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.. my mumbling

It happens to me again. The boredom of sleeping. Yes! Go ahead and laugh at me because you may predict that I -among all the people -should never experience this kind of boredom.  Or maybe, the term itself is not even exist. 

Well, for this past week I haven't been able to sleep early.  There is a hole inside of me that hoping that tomorrow is still far from happening.  I have no clue why do I have to be scared of tomorrow. Maybe not scared, just lack of excitement.

Because sometimes I want to just stand still and make time pause. Just a bit. A minute. And for that whole minute, I will be just hold my breath and just enjoying the air that fill up my lung. And just ... feel the moment. To then take a step forward to make amend, to my self.

Oh how I have been consumed by a big great anger. With even no clue at all to whom I got angry at. Maybe to the world itself. Maybe I am still hurt - for the past that I could not hold on to. Or .. maybe I'm just simply bored and mad.

And I miss how I can just used to talk to someone - randomly about these pieces of thoughts.

That is why I love the movie "You've Got Mail" so much. It's not that sweet lovely ending that I'm fond of. It's the conversation that they have every day on the mail.  Just a random thoughts or simply assuming for a piece of advise.  Without being judged. And to feel free to speak up their mind and know that someone on the other side of the line is listening to it.  And the pleasant little surprise of the blinking screen that suddenly popping out 3 little magic words, "You've Got Mail".

And yes ..
I am sending this bizzare midnight thought through this open world. Because I always believe that writing helps - I even suggest many of friends doing that. It's a simple therapy that I made for me - to simply pour out what I feel .. and even though maybe no one is reading this .. at least I have said it to myself. And I believe that it is way healthier than just sitting infront of my window staring at the city sky for the past hour.

So goodnight dear cosmic world. May tomorrow be excited.

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