I miss him

I have been thinking bout my dad a lot lately. Well, precisely, I always think about my dad when I'm upset or sad. Sometimes I always feel how the universe is so unfair - making one great man to die too soon. 

But, again,  I never valued him this much before. Maybe that's what people said about regret. It always comes later ...

Well, my dad always become the benchmark of every milestone I have in my life. He's the one that inspire me to get higher degree, to have a successful career, and to be a good person. 

For some reason, lately I have been feeling kinda lost. 

One of my father's lesson that I always look up to is. "Always take an extra mile in every thing that you do. No matter how hard it is - it would teach you something. You may not feel it now, but someday you'll be grateful for the extra work you have done."

And now,

I feel like I wanna give up. 

It's not like I am quitter.

It just feels like the extra mile has gone into thousand of miles and I lost my breath already. 

And if my dad was here, he would know what to say. He would reassure me that I would be fine and I should chose what I feel was best.

And though I know that already, but sometimes hearing it from someone else would make me believe that I could really do it. 

And now ... 

I am trying to open up my feelings to other people. 

And I am touched by the way they try to lend me a hand.

The thing is ..

I am not feeling any better now.

And, somehow the world keep on spinning too fast and I feel so left behind. Even the sun has sank on my morning dawn. 

So yes, I miss my dad so much.

My long night conversation by the long road. 

Saying that "everything is gonna be alright, dear. I am here"