Having a birthday is a must for every human who was born in this world. Just like me, today is my birthday. My 23rd birthday. Just like every other birthdays I've been through, today feels just like the other days. Nothing feels different and extraordinary besides the fact that I am one year older than I was yesterday.
Maybe, this birthday isn't quite special because I feel a little bit disappointed with myself. As I remember, last year, my best friends and I celebrate my birthday in some pasta restaurant and they gave me a little surprise. At that moment, I promised to my self as I blew the candle, that it would be my last birthday as a college student. How did it turn out? Well, here I am now. Still having my student card in my wallet, besides having the alumni card, which reminding me that my wish didn't granted as I wanted. I'm still a college student. Probably, last year I didn't wish that hard or I just didn't push myself to the limit. Yet, it was some disappointment for me, more than anything else I've ever done.
Of course, some of you my friends think that this birthday should be wonderful, because this month I'm going to apply for my undergraduate thesis exam 'pendadaran'. However, I don't feel the same. I feel so nervous, so scared, and still feel dissatisfy with the result so far. Despite of that, I still want to have your prayer for my test, so, please give me your best prayer. :)
Then, it comes to the presents. Every birthday I've ever had, I wanted to have many presents. Maybe, two months ago I still wanted the same thing, but everything has changed. I didn't want anything, at all. My parents asked me about the present, and they've offered me many things, good things, but I didn't want them. Well, probably if they offered me cars or something big like that, I would have said yes. But, actually I really feel like I don't want anything. I just want to finish this thing - college thing so I can move on, try something new and move to other cool places like New York maybe.
So, yeah .. I started my new age with complaining about things that I've done. I know it's not a good start. But, maybe I just want myself to remember about this birthday, about how I really become a different person than who I used to be. Probably, it's just a lesson about how I supposed to live my life better than before so I won't be a disappointment for me anymore.
Well .. for whatever it is .. Happy Birthday, Gita. Your 23 now! It's time to start thinking about life more serious and not just fooling around. Have a great plan for yourself! Make this year to renew yourself and try to challenge yourself to your maximum limit. Then, enjoy everything you've achieved with people you love. It has to start now, in your 23!
Cheers!
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taken from my last birthday |
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